|Day 1 – Eased into fast gently by fruit only day followed by 2 days of juice before starting water fast. Felt quite energetic on the fruit and not that hungry as had binged on burgers at 4am after a drinking session for my birthday.|
|Day 2 – Juice only today and feeling light and more productive than usual. Have decided to cut back on the number of DVD’s that I watch which helps with the productivity. Feeling quite angry and frustrated with any situation that does not work out perfectly. Hoping to know what to do about a relationship situation, a work situation and life-direction, and sort out some health issues, to get in touch with my spiritual path too.|
|Day 3 – 2nd day of just juice – first day of water tomorrow. Didn’t really feel hungry today, just a couple of fleeting moments. I awoke at 5am feeling quite fresh which is common with fasting – but went back to sleep even though I went to sleep early last night. Nice to get lots of deep sleep. My body feels relaxed and my emotions quite still now. Slightly dizzy today when stood up – a taste of things to come! I have got myself a fast buddy – Clive, a friend who I can check in with every day, just in case i get into trouble, he could check I’m OK.|
|Day 4 – 1st day of water fast, 4th day overall. Felt a bit weak at times and dizzy – not a lot. I didn’t feel hungry apart from momentary flashes where I’d like to eat. I read all 21 days of the blog by personalexcellence.com. Was starting to feel worried about the amount of nausea, dizziness and exhaustion. The universe answered with some help for when I went to my Coda meeting (co-dependents anonymous) I talked about my fast and my worries about being sick and alone and a lady approached me, said she was on day 2 of a 10 day fast and that she has done fasts in retreats all over the world and that I should take a shot of Bentonite 3 times a day, followed by 2 caps of psyllium husks 3 times a day. She also said enemas are necessary as I wasn’t sure and that Epsom bath salts – hot for 20 minutes then pat down and relax for half an hour, really help. She said taking the supplements mentioned above helps reduce the sickness, dizziness and tiredness, as it removes a lot of the toxins out of the body. I feel very relieved to have got this information, as was thinking I had a really horrible 21 days ahead.|
|Day 5 – 2nd day of water fast. Good day – felt strong as I went about some chores in town. Slight flu symptoms this morning. Vivid dreams that I had read about have started. No particular hunger pangs, but liked the smell of food, and passing thoughts of food occurred, but quite pleased with that side of it so far. No nausea or dizziness. I am hoping to get hold of the bentonite soon. I did a home enema and a Epsom salts bath that Emma recommended to detox.|
|Day 6 – 3rd day of water fast – felt quite strong again today. Had slight headache this morning for a short period. Moments of hunger this evening and thinking about food for a little while. Again another vivid dream about food –chocolate biscuits but I gave them away to someone and didn’t eat them in the dream! Had a little bit of chest pain today when I was out. I had a healing today of an inflammation – which I was treating with the fast, colloidal silver and a homeopathic remedy. It was similar to the healing I had for the same issue using anti-biotics, but hoping this time it will stay away. After a very hot Epsom salt bath and I had to get out of the bath quickly and rush downstairs to sort the alarm which had gone off. I felt so weak and dizzy that I had to keep stopping as I was climbing the stairs and sit down.|
|Day 7I had a good day – walked 4 miles and rested a lot. Fantasized about food a bit today – a bit worried that my pre-menstrual time is coming up and I often get very food orientated – yikes! No emotional stuff – I wonder if this will happen for me or later on in the fast. Perhaps the first week is the easiest – I have read that – but I have also read its an initiation and the rest is easier – I guess I will find out. But very glad about the advice from Emma about the Bentonite, psillium husks, Epsom baths and enemas. Felt quite bubbly today and energised. Cleared out a cupboard that needed doing too.|
|Day8Had a very active day – swimming, housework, a friend came over, I had a sauna, felt fine except when I had an underwater swimming competition and felt a bit of a body rush. Taking the bentonite hopefully will help in the coming weeks with symptoms. I am quite a lot thinner, I reckon about half a stone.|
|Day 9A restful day today. Felt a knawing hunger for an hour this evening but it passed. Not fantasising about food really that much overall, surprisingly I thought that I fantasize and think about food more when I can eat than when fasting.|
|Day 10Felt good – the odd weakness especially getting up and a few heart palpitations. Did yoga slowly! I think the weakness comes more when you are in a relaxed state – I guess that’s when the toxins are moving around your body. Looking very skinny. Spent an hour fantasizing about eating in every favourite fast food place I like in Brighton and some I’d never been in! Not much emotional stuff. Gave myself a bentonite enema today, and the clay and psillium is fine – I’m only taking it twice a day instead of 3 times that Emma recommended.|
|Day 11Went OK day – quite strong – went to an inquest into the death of a friend and ended up having a really good sob in the toilet – which was a release.|
|Day 12 I had quite an active day, felt quite strong all day and got a lot done. I seem to get more done and be more focussed. Getting up the stairs seems to be the hardest part. The bentonite clay and psillium husks seem to be staving off most of the detox symptoms. Fantasized about food a lot today – it seems to be when I’ve been quite active and maybe used up quite a bit of energy. Felt quite cold today.|
|Day 13 An active day again. Felt OK, I get heart palpatations sometimes and I have to be careful standing up and I have a small sore in the corner of my mouth but that is it so far.|
|Day 14 Sometimes I get a knawing feeling in my stomach – the nearest to hunger I get apart from the wanting of food – emotional I guess. Another thing I notice is the intense frustration and rage I get if I struggle to do something. It is coming out quite expressively when no-one is around. This is part of my energies buy I have usually sublimated them. Enemae today. Ive noticed my libido is quite low. I also noticed that I wrote a poem and it flowed with all the rhymes coming out instantly – this is very unlike me – I usually labour to put together a poem!|
|Day 15Had quite an active day – then fell asleep about 6pm and slept most of the evening and night. I often find I have some heart palpitations and sometimes it can feel strong like a hard pressure. Dr Arnold Ehret writes that that can indicate drugs coming out of the body. I felt a kind of anxiety to feed my friend whilst he was here – a projection of my own addictive feeding patterns I think – anxiety and need a little mixed with urgency. Could that be the emotional attachment or the physical needs connected to feeding problems as a child. Woke up with my dead uncle berts voice in my head saying there’s more work to be done buy Im on the road to recovery.|
|Day 16Did very little – spending a lot of time fantasizing about food – hard to concentrate even on reading sometimes, as I just want to do nothing but dream of food – usually all the fast foods that I enjoy. Usually fast food, but have been planning some raw food recipes that I want to try which is more constructive. Less dreams about food that I remember. I seem to have a little ulcer on my lip – not sure if that’s to do with the clay Ive been using or just a release of toxins. Did an enema today – not much left in me it seems!|
|Day 17Resting a lot again – but that is what I am supposed to do – demotivated to do much or to do exercise – I usually feel more energized if I do get up and about. I wonder all the times I dream of food if its like a weakness where I may have needed some kind of emotional nurturance as a child I the only thing I did get was food – so the two are closely linked.|
|Day 18 Had quite a bit of nausea yesterday and today. It may be where I stopped taking the mud twice a day and just once a day because I couldn’t face having it, or it could just be 18 days without eating! Been quite active last night and today, looking in all the food shops – I think about food most of the time anyway without the fast, but it gets frustrating without the fulfilment, its like the song ‘ I can’t get no’ …satisfaction :-]|
|Day 19Had an active day, which helped lift my spirits and stop obsessing about food. Went to a comedy night – felt a bit drained, slightly nauseous at times. Missed out one of the muds today. I went swimming and did yoga! Been planning some raw food recopies to try.|
|Day 20Felt a bit of rage again – usually when the computer is slow or I can’t do something straight away. Going to Asda today to pick up lots of tasty herbs for my raw food rejuvenation. I think I will be having a bit of baked veges though and some quinoa as I have noticed that I am hungry quite a bit of the time otherwise on raw food. 1.5 days to go – I’ve bought some rainbow coloured carrot and organic apple for my juice on Monday.|
|Day 21Was active again today – buying healthy food – broke the fast exactly 21 days later at 4pm with a juice. I had a raw organic orange and I swear a piece of fruit had never tasted so fine. Unfortunately I was then making raw stuffed vine leaves and it degenerated into a picking fest. The next day I picked every 2 hours and had a meal and by the end of the night I knew Id overdone it – quite badly. All the stuff they warn you about but when that hungry monster gets loose in the kitchen, it only has one thing on its mind. To be fair I binged on healthy food but that didn ‘t really help my tummy and I was up at 4am drinking lemon herb tea and apple cider vinegar and taking a bath in discomfort. I lasted until 3pm he next day without eating then did something similar though with less food, so hopefully Ill be OK, but tummy feels quite tender. Ive plastered up signs on my kitchen walls saying ‘step away from the kitchen’, it doesn’t always help. Apparently I will be quite hungry for a couple of weeks but I shouldn’t overindulge!! Tell that to my hungry monster.
Post FastOn reflection – I lost control a bit as soon as the 21 days were up and it has caused me some problems, which I best not go into the fine details, but needless to say all that I read about being careful not to overeat and that you would be tempted to for a couple of weeks after a long fast like 21 days were true. Someone said its not important, but they were doing a 10 day fast. I may have to refast for a bit, to empty myself out and try to repair any upset to my digestive system.
I found that a week after the fast I had a binge on normal, unhealthy food and ended up staying up all night and going through some of the emotional stuff I thought I would go through on the fast, but it was when the toxins were reintroduced plus overeating that this happened for me.
I had very vivid dreams while fasting, initially about food, then had some interesting dreams: one where I awoke with a feeling that my dead uncle Bert had spoken to me and said that ‘there was more work to be done but that I was on the road to recovery’. A week later I felt his energy near me during the day, he was a lovely person. I also dreamt that a voice said that ‘the rest of my life would be about what you cannot see, touch or hear’. Not sure what that meant, if anything, but it was not my usual sort of dream.
My amazing therapist said that the issues that I was masking with food would come up and they did funnily enough once I put toxins back in my body. I took some Nat Muir grief homeopathic remedy and it helped me to release a lot of sorrows and bust through some patterns of not acting on my instincts. Another event that felt engineered by spirit, so that I could reconnect to my instincts, and act on them, has come up.
Ive been eating a lot of Quinoa since the fast – its a protein seed rather than grain, much prized in the Andes mountains. I love it but its not very raw!!
6 Weeks After Fast
I think the fast has shifted my relationship to food. Admittedly I don’t have much stress in my life at the moment but I find it a little easier to eat a high raw diet. Sometimes where I was upset by something and may have just eaten, I pause and resist. I have also been more aware since the fast that I eat when anxious.
At Christmas after the fast I went through an intense spiritual initiation which included staying up for about 8 nights over a 2 week period, and seeing visions etc. I think that the spiritual fast helped to cleanse me to go through this process. It was about seeing my shadow and a little of the collective shadow, and reconnecting the parts of myself disconnected since childhood. In the past, my mind and feelings and instincts weren’t communicating with each other, so I would not be able to act on my feelings. For example if I felt that a relationship was painful, I could not feel those feelings, think about them and then act upon a decision, hence being trapped in a series of very difficult relationships.
All in all I think it was sa powerful process to fast for 21 days, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally and it has been part of a larger process for me. I am currently a size 8, I went back to a 10 after the fast and lost it again through eating little over xmas during the initiation. I don’t know where I will balance out weight wise once the normal stresses of life return, but I certainly feel that I don’t need to stuff my stomach to bursting nearly so often.
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